Things Learned in April

1. If you have an alarm in your house, turn it on and learn how to operate it, no matter how complicated it is.
2. Police in the North East of England will use “me” as a possessive pronoun. Go with the flow and enjoy the northern charm.
3. There is nothing charming about having to clean up after other peoples’ cats.
4. Good weather will appear when you have to do tiresome things. This is a common part of sod’s law, but worth reiterating. So be off to do your annoying tasks and take a break in the ensuing sunshine.
5. Solo road-trips are better when it is lighter outside. Even if you are on your way to deal with tiresome things.
6. Car-singing will make everything better.
7. Burglars will go to hell. Alternatively, for the non-religious, they should have to take at least one rail-replacement bus for every train journey they make.