1. Why don’t you get your ears pierced and wear drop earrings? They will make your face look smaller and less round.
  2. Why don’t you settle in one place and start a family? It’s what everybody else is doing.
  3. You don’t like your nose? There are non-invasive procedures for that these days.
  4. You’re doing a PhD? I’m not sure if men will be all that pleased to marry somebody with a doctorate.
  5. Aren’t cartoons for children?
  6. Aren’t science museums for children?
  7. Just get a real job.
  8. Never show any weaknesses you might have, don’t let other people know.
  9. If only you would apply yourself to one thing.
  10. Love yourself for who you are.

Number ten always seems to be an afterthought following one or several of 1-9.

N.B. This is not genuine advice from me to you. These are things that have been said to me and other people in similar positions in life to myself over the recent years. If you’re after real advice ask a close friend. If I am to advise you on anything off this list, it would be not to jack with your face without having a really good think about it first. And then to consult with professionals. Go with your gut. The healthy gut bacteria should produce healthy gut feelings.

Here’s a picture of a puppy if you need calming down.


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